That was then....This is now...

delman113 @ 2006-10-04T01:22:00

2006-10-05T05:23:58Z

::HOLDS HEAD IN HAND AND SCREAMS::

I wish there was something i could do for you babe....I'm sorry....

surveys

2006-07-10T02:09:15Z

So i found a survey that i took at the beginning of jr. year and i decided to take it again just to see how things have changed.... (its like my second entry for comparison)

*:: The Basic Crap...::*
Full Name: Lauren Beth
Any Nicknames? Delmz, Delmie, Delman, Laur, D, Del, Pretty much anything
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
School: University of Delaware
Grade: frosh
Height: 5'3 1/2''
Hair Length/Color: Lt. Brown , long
Eye Color: hazel
Hospital You Were Born At: Lenox Hill
Any Siblings? Who are they? Yep, got a sis….

*:: Favorites ::*
Color: Blue
Fruit: Banana (nothing dirty was intended btw)
Veggie: Cucumber (wow sensing a pattern)
Jello Flavor: Strawberry
Ice Cream Flavor: Cookies-n-creme
Drink: Malibu...or diet rasp. snapple lol
Bands: Matchbox 20
Singers: Sean Paul
Month: June
Scent: Lucky You, Curious, Baby Phat
Holiday: don’t have one
Time of the day: 11: 59: 59
Candy: Twizzlers
Scary Movie: The Ring
TV Show: Nip/Tuck, Friends, Will and Grace
TV Channel: fx, mtv, wb, abcfamily
Actress: Debra Messing, Jennifer Aniston
Actor: JULIAN MCMAHON! Shane West, Johnny Depp
Radio Station: Z100
Soda: Dt. Coke
Vacation Place: Vegas, Arizona
State: Anything on the west coast
Girl Names:Um I guess Hallie, Tedi, and um...idk
Boy Names: Justin, Kyle, Chris, Brad
Store: Mandee, Charlotte Russe, KOHLS
Mall: Garden State
Room in your house: mine!
Car: 1999 Black Honda Accord
Anima l: dog and horse
Number: 69 of course

*:: Which One... ::*
Burger King or McDonalds: ew neither
Skaters or Goths: Skaters
Pink or Purple: Pink
Silver or Gold: Silver
Pen or Pencil: Pencil
Pants or Shorts: Pants
Pool or Hot Tub:Hot tub
Sweet or Sour: Sweet
Salt or Pepper: Salt
Contacts or Glasses: Contacts
Day or Night: Night
Shower or Bath: both
Shopping Online or at the mall: Mall
Radio or CD: Radio
Rain or Snow: Snow
Winter or Summer: Summer
Books or Magazines:Books

*:: Random Questions... ::*
Who do you hang with? (Preps, Geeks, Goths, Skaters, etc...) um...my friends
Do you own any stuffed animals? Who doesn’t?
What color do you look best in? black and earth tones
What are your pet peeves? Answering all of these questions…oh yeah, and bitchy ppl
What do you think of boybands? They ain’t all bad….

*:: In The Last 24 hours, have you... ::*
Yelled at someone? yes
Got yelled at? yeah
Broke something? no
Tripped & fell? yes
Shopped online? no
Cried? Yes
Listened to music? yes
Swam? yes
Talked on the phone? yes
Been in jail? No
Eaten? yep
Witnessed a crime? Yes
Watched a movie? yes ….
Traveled anywhere? Tennis courts

*:: Other Random Questions ::*
Do you like having your picture taken? sometimes
Do you ever do crossword puzzles? yea
Do you put posters up in your room? Yeah
How many CDs do you own? Like 20 lol
Do you read your horoscope? Don’t believe in it, although its usually correct
How many times a year are you sick? not many
Ever been on an airplane? yea
Have you ever said lol in real life without thinking about it? Umm…yeah
How big are the windows in your house? um...big? i dunno, normal size i guess
Do you wear necklaces, bracelets, anklets, earrings, rings? All of the above
How long does it take you to get ready to go out? depends on where im going...usually like an hr or less
Have you ever gotten lost? Where? yea, everywhere
What's in your fridge right now? not much
Are you a fast typer? yes very
Ever seen a shooting star? Oh yeah
Are things as bad as they seem? Most of the time
What color is most of your clothes? Black or denim
Who do you miss? Anthony
Ever looked directly into the sun? yes, bad idea
Do you own any plants? yea..their probably dead tho
If you could only talk to 5 of your friends for the rest of your life, who would they be? Jen, Anthony, Jackie, Michelle, Brad, and Blair...i know thats 6 but oh well
Do you love your family? usually
Have you ever picked up the phone before it rang? yea
Do you do any chores? What? Yeah, im the dishwasher bitch…
What place can cheer you up no matter what? Friends’ house
Who can cheer you up no matter what? Anthony

*:: Future... ::*
Do you plan on getting married? yea
To who? Let's just see what happens..::wink Wink::
What do you want to be when your older? Elementary English Teacher
Where do you see 5 of your friends in 10 years, include details: Pretty much doing whatever it was that they said they wanted to do….
What kind of car do you want? BMW Z4
How many kids? 2
Where do you plan on going to college? Delaware
Where do you plan on living? Maybe new york, or DC
How old do you think you'll live to be? Old enough

*:: Even More Random Q's... ::*
If you died tomorrow, who would you leave everything you own to? My family and a few friends
If you won the lottery, what would you do with your...lets say 36 million dollars? A new car...a house...and donate like ten mill.
Do you believe in Heaven? definately
What is your worst fear? Losing someone i love
Have you ever owned a Chia Pet? If so, how many? Wow, really embarrassed to admit….
What is the one thing you couldn't live without, and why? Family and friends
Where do you want to have your wedding? on the beach
Have you ever been in love? If yes, with who? Um...well there's this guy...
What movie can you watch over and over, and never get bored? A Walk to Remember and Rent
Don't survey's rule? Omg they are soooooooooo obnoxious!

So yeah a quick comment...dan is the coolest person ever and i want him soooo bad.... and yeah camp tmrw...so laterrrr

Anthony

2006-07-10T00:36:15Z

So yeah it’s definitely been a while since I’ve updated but I figured that there is no easy way to express myself so I decided that I would just do it online and let other people read it without me having to explain it…
So yeah there is this guy who I wasn’t supposed to fall for but as life would have it...I did. And he is perfect. Yet at the same time I love the fact that he isn’t perfect. I love that I can fight with him and I love that I can be myself around him. He makes fun of me and I make fun of him. He's seen me when I first wake up in the morning and right before I go to sleep at night (and of course the time in between as well) He's seen me bowl my worst game ever and golf the highest score possible. He's seen me cry. He's seen me yell. He's seen me drunk. He's seen me bored. He's seen me at my worst. He's seen me at my best. He's heard embarrassing story after embarrassing story, and he's seen my room at its messiest. He's met my family and they adore him almost as much as I do. He's come with me to a temple function. He's taken me to dinner and the movies. He let me beat him in tennis. He drove my sister around and took her to get dinner when she was hungry. He picked up my sister's friends for me because my car is too small. He has paid for my gas on more than one occasion. He took me to six flags and on many roller coasters that I was previously afraid of. He's the first guy to win a stuffed animal for me. He taught me that jealousy is a wasted emotion. He has sat through at least four chick flicks with me, as well as being the shoulder to hide behind during scary movies. We’ve taken random road trips and wound up in the most unexpected places. He’s told me I’m beautiful. He’s told me he’s thinking about me. He’s wrestled with my dog. He’s fallen asleep on my bed. He’s asked for my help in school. He’s taken me for food at four in the morning. He was the first person I’ve ever snuck out of my house to see. He’s fun to visit at work. He’s given me free movies and come with me to Starbucks. He’s smoked and drank with me. He’s fought my battles for me. He’s driven my car for me. He’s even let me drive his car. He’s rolled his eyes at me and my pathetic attempt at jokes. He’s good-looking and strong and always makes me feel safe. He wears preppy clothing and always smells nice. He takes me on his motorcycle. He invites me over. He comes over to say hi after work. He makes me laugh at myself and other things. He challenges me to bowling on a regular basis. He’s ambitious and knows what he wants out life. He can be a hopeless romantic. He looks down my shirt and laughs when I catch him. He makes friends with my friends. He fights with my friends. He swims with me. He walks my dogs with me. He makes me scratch his back and threatens to ignore me if I don’t. He smiles when I ask him to. He takes ownership over certain words and tells me I can’t use them. He opens up to me and tells me secrets. I trust him and I hope that he trusts me. He calls me all the time to have meaningless conversation after meaningless conversation. He’s in the coast guard. He is territorial and hates it when I talk to his mother. He teases his little sister. He cuddles with his dog. He kisses me hello. He kisses me good-bye. He’s taken more than one drunken picture with me. He fights with my little sister. He calls her names. He plays video games all the time. He loves the front row of roller coasters. He parties whenever he can. He dances. He came to prom weekend. He fought with me and made up with me. He played with me in the ocean when everyone else was too cold. He’s leaned in for kisses and I’ve backed away. He’s given me a kiss on the cheek every time I’ve seen him since the day that I met him. He’s made fun of my studying. He’s called me smart. He watches Friends. He plays Soccer. He plays Paintball. He shameless flirts with people but acts sincere around me. He wants to go on a cruise. He listens to Dane Cook. He loves the same music that I do. He holds my hand when he drives. He screams to scare me. He loves “weird NJ” stuff. He’s walked around in a towel in front of me. He’s kissed my cheek. He’s kissed my neck. He’s told me that I deserve better. I think he’s crazy. He told me he’d visit me at school. He told me that I will definitely see him when he gets back from boot camp. He told me that he loves my personality. He loves my family. He has been in a serious relationship. He’s 100% Italian. He plays pool. He works two jobs. He drives a dark green truck. He put me as number one on his myspace top 8. He wants to be a police officer. He’s taken me out for pizza. We’ve had four hour conversations before. He’s fallen asleep next to me. We’ve sat in silence. We don’t ever need the radio on in the car. It is never awkward between us. He’s seen pictures of me in middle school. He’s made fun of the pictures of me in middle school. He introduced me to Steve and Mike and all his friends at Blockbuster. I still tell them how much I miss him. He told me he’d write me as soon as he got a spare minute at boot camp. He graduates a week before I leave for school. He told me not to get a boyfriend this summer. It bothers him when I am alone with other guys. He makes fun of my best friends and tells me that we are more than friends. He complained to me about prom and the cost. He’s interested in politics and history. He loves math. He is the only guy who loves my hair curly. He likes it when I wear t-shirts. He helped my dad move the television. He’s run errands with me. He’s sat and talked to my parents. He didn’t get scared when my dad told him that I have a lot of male friends. He’s seen me fall. He’s seen me make mistakes. He ignores them. His sisters and I have had long conversations while he makes fun of me in the background. He’s commented my pictures on myspace. He has a gorgeous smile. He wears a silver bracelet everyday that is from his grandmother. His favorite hat is white. He lost it in the city. He offered to come to my graduation. He’s taken me to IHOP. He’s pulled away to look at me after he kisses me. He’s kicked me off the bed before and then laughed about it. He’s taken me to the movies and jumped at all of the scary parts. He’s made fun of me being on the school newspaper. He’s beaten me at pool. He wanted me to get my tongue pierced. He’s put up with my bitchiness and PMS. He’s dealt with me when I was looking for a fight. He’s seen me get yelled at and in trouble. He’s made fun of my driving abilities. He acts gay with other guys and is comfortable enough to do it in public. He’s watched me on the camera from the back room at Blockbuster. His ring tone is Satisfaction by Benni Benasi. He’s called me from blockbuster. He’s told me that he can’t sleep. He’s told me that he’s confused. He’s told me when things are bothering him. He’s eaten grilled cheese with me at the diner at ridiculous hours of the morning. He loves mozzarella sticks. He goes to Montclair. He has taken classes at NJIT and Bergen Community. He’s come shopping with me. He pulls up next to me at red lights to talk and listen to music. He’s put his arms around me before. He’s turned slightly red whenever people make mention of me and him being together. He’s taller than me but not too tall. He’s checked his myspace from my computer. He’s got an online stalker. He texts to me online from his phone when we can’t really talk. He has two computers. He lives in Hawthorne. He’s hidden pictures of me and friends all around my house. He’s argued with me about the titles of songs. He’s told me he is going to miss me. He sees me almost everyday and hardly complains. We make bets that we never keep. We’ve drank with my sister and her friends. At this point he’s one of my best friends and I am having trouble adjusting to life without him here. Who knows what will happen in the future but for now…he makes me happy. He makes me smile. He makes everyday fun. I’m missing him more each day. That’s all for now boys and girls….
-Laur

lets see if this works...

2005-05-15T16:12:40Z

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 100%

Envy: 60%

Pride: 60%

Sloth: 60%

Greed: 20%

Gluttony: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 43%

You'll die while in the throws of passion - the best way to go.

How Sinful Are You?

self evaluation...

2005-04-24T14:09:23Z

What do I think about myself?

It’s a question that I just sat here and thought about… I know me…I know who my friends are…I know what people think of me, and I know how I live my life…But the fact that I know it so well, does that mean that I truly am content with it?

Answer: no…

Growing up I was so happy, always thought that life was amazing, and just handed to you…as if everyone was entitled to it…like it was a gift that was just put in front of everyone the instant their eyes were open…I now know that its not the case…after a long talk with my dad (who I claim to hate but love more than anyone in the whole world…)I realized how much I hate myself…I’m a smart person, yet I sit there and do nothing…I watch T.V. in my afternoons and cruise around in the car…and then I get pissed off when I cant, or when im told to do homework…what happened? It just hit me that I am going nowhere in life if I keep up this cavalier attitude…it was always “ill get to it later” or “fuck that I don’t need it”…I’m digging myself further and further into this hole that I wont be able to fix…Where am I going to be in another ten years? Working in some low-paying job, working my ass off for no money…. And that thought depresses me…I’ve been so caught up in the fact that I don’t have a cell phone for a while that I have neglected to think about life in general and how I will pay for my mistakes and the fact that my actions will eventually have consequences…

I was always in the top of my class in elementary school (not saying much but that’s not really the point) I was in the top reading group, the top math group, always got straight A’s, and I loved that I was so smart and how happy mommy and daddy were when my report card came four times every school year…now I dread it…I’ve hidden the last four report cards that I’ve gotten. Why? Because im ashamed…im ashamed of myself…I hate my body, I hate my attitude, I hate my grades, I hate the drama that always seems to take fuckin priority over EVERYTHING…And maybe one of these days I actually will become more honest and open with myself and other people…until then forget it…

You know what? College doesn’t seem like its such a bad idea anymore…the farther away…the better….
~~~~~~~~~~~~
/ Lauren /
~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Sorry to end abruptly but I lost my train of thought and I don’t feel like finishing

Drama...

2005-04-13T00:49:50Z

Random stuff tonight guys…

So yeah in a so/so mood…a few good things happened today and a few bad things…
Field trip to the Met was really awesome…a little on the boring side but that’s only because of the tour guide that felt that she was required to speak for thirty minutes at a time, and completely overanalyze each painting. The bus rides there and back were the best part, between prank phone calls and creating a story based on an infected man named “Scott”, I don’t think I stopped laughing for more than two minutes at a time. Great time guys…so sad it’s the last trip of the year!
Okay now the not so good “stuffs”…. I’ve decided that cowards irritate me because they can’t seem to ever have the balls to face reality. I mean why can’t anyone seem to turn to verbal confrontation?? Do our words really mean so little to us that we have to mask them from whomever they are directed towards?? If you have something to say, just say it…enough of the bullshit…if you’re mad at me…let me fuckin know, but don’t talk about it behind my back in hopes that everything will just conveniently fall back into place and resolve itself. I don’t like to be bitched at, (as not many do I’m sure…) so if you have a message for me, don’t ask someone else to relay it…don’t be such a pussy…
Enough on that topic…So doesn’t it always seem that those in power seem to take advantage of that power?? I mean everyone else is perfectly capable of doing for themselves (however let me stop myself right there and justify it with two words, “within reason.”) I mean I’m not saying that just because we live in a country with its basis on freedom that I should be able to do whatever I want, I’m just saying that one person should not be allowed to be a dictator over others. Let me sum up with I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF DOING EXACTLY WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO, SO STOP THINKING THAT I AM DUMB AND CANT FOLLOW DIRECTIONS, AND THAT I HAVE NO PURPOSE IN THE CURRENT POSITION THAT I AM IN!!!! Sorry to bitch like that but I am sick and tired of being treated like an amateur. WTF I grew up painting and designing…and I have put so much time and effort into this stupid fuckin play that I am sick of being disregarded and ignored. Stop trying to make me feel guilty for leaving early. IM SORRY I HAVE OTHER STUFF THAT I HAVE TO DO….not all of us are pulling straight A’s here darling, and some of us have to work a little harder than others….Keep in mind that I am working on this show out of my own free will and in all honesty, everyday I get more and more annoyed with u for being bitchy and pissy with me when I decide that I want to leave earlier… You should instead be happy that I am helping and that I am encouraging other people to help too…I mean think about it, if I had never started working on it, then you would be about five people short, so don’t hand me any kind of bullshit that I am not showing up enough or whatever…I may not have spent everyday there like you have, but I’ve still put in my fair share of time….
Ummm what’s next? Oh yeah…guys are officially confusing (now I know what you are thinking, yeah right, they have one track minds and are really not at all complex) but in all honesty, I’m finding that I am understanding them less and less…Take for instance the prom situation…let me just say that I am going to go to prom whether I have a date or not, and I don’t think that not having one is a valid reason for not going…why do people obsess over the subject so much?? Seriously, you take pictures with them and then dance with your friends…Who really cares….ITS JUNIOR PROM, and I’m sorry that I’m ranting about it, but I’m having a bad night, and if it really bothers u that much, then stop reading here….Whatever I am sick of this materialistic bullshit that I don’t really want bitch about it anymore…
So yeah onto a lighter note…and completely contrasting to previous rants and raves, IM IN LOVE WITH LIKE FOUR GUYS!!  Wow such a girlie comment, but I really can’t help it, there are like four of them that I am currently interested in and not really sure which one to pursue…wanna help? 201.602.8977 (sounds like such a personal ad…) and yeah enough complaining because I’m sure that whoever is reading this is getting bored at this point…so let me just conclude with YOU ARE THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE WHO HAS EVER WALKED ON THIS PLANET!!!! (And don’t forget to come see Pippin on April 14th, 15th, and 16th, in the Indian Hills auditorium starting at 8:00!!) lol such a loser!!
Good night all.
-Always,
Lauren Beth

(btw, at this point, the “asshole” should know who he is…)

blah blah blah blah blah (really think i already used that as a title but whatver lol)

2005-03-23T02:43:53Z

::sigh::

Okay, so today was pretty good….had a good week, not an overabundance of hw…idk things were just going somewhat smoothly…then someone happened to pick up a copy of a magazine with juvenile diabetes on the cover and about how its “the newest thing” and to “watch out”…. Well fuck you to whoever wrote that article…I now have to deal with my parents fucking breathing down by neck as far as what my diet consists of….FUCK YOU I don’t need any more stress added to my life right now and I think its pretty dick of you to have the nerve to talk to me about my eating habits you fat piece of shit…fuck you….fuck you….fuck you… (Okay I know it was a little harsh but I’m really angry….)
Now, having reread what I just finished writing, I realized something…I don’t like crying…I think in excess, it shows weakness….and I know that I do it all too often….and I also hate when people act all dramatic and “emo”, mainly because it’s a waste of time, acting like the whole fucking world is out to get you…. someone pointed out to me recently “NEWSFLASH, THE EARTH DOESN’T SPIN ON IT’S AXIS EVERYDAY IN HOPES THAT IT CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE MORE OF A LIVING HELL THAN IT ALREADY IS…so get over all of the petty bullshit that you keep complaining about and try to see the whole picture, your life doesn’t suck nearly as much as you think it does…
And you wanna know something that’s sad? The person that I’m referring to is me…for the longest time I thought that everyone was out to get me and bring me down…I mean I felt that crying was my only escape…I would never become suicidal because I was too scared…the only way to get away from reality was to cry….and then after listening to myself bitch to someone the other day, I realized that life isn’t about the boy that wont notice you…its not about being three pounds over the average weight…who really cares if you got an 89 instead of a 90 in English?? People always say pay attention to the details in life…personally though I disagree…
Take for example pointillism…it’s a form of art in which the artist uses hundreds of colored dots to make up the final picture…When one walks up and looks specifically at each little color and spot, all one sees is a giant mess….a bunch of mixed colors and patterns with no distinct purpose…but after taking a step back…the picture makes sense, and its beauty and magnificence are revealed….
The same thing goes with a puzzle…one piece may stand for your good grades…the other may stand for a PhD….one could be the house that you live in…three could be your children you have when your older…seven could even be your grandchildren…point being that each piece could represent a component in your life, but that’s it…just one piece of your life….not the whole thing… Putting everything together makes up a person as a whole…
I used to obsess over the pieces….the dots….the small details that mattered, but weren’t equivalent to the big picture…So yeah…I was thinking about that today…about the college scene and the Roeser paper and SAT’s, and I realized that even though all of those things might seem so major now…where is their significance in another ten years?? When you are a teacher…or a lawyer…the chief of the police force or a waitress in a restaurant…no one is going to ask you how you did on your SAT’s, or if you got a B+ in Chemistry sophomore year in high school…its because those little details don’t matter nearly as much as one would think…
So another change that I’ve intended to make is to no longer sweat the small stuff…and no longer spend all of my time worried about one particular thing…That’s not to say that being focused is a negative thing, but to take yourself too seriously would do nothing but deprive you from living your life the way that you choose… where’s the fun in being a teenager if you have to spend your entire weekend at home writing essays?…even though I think I already spend too much time away from my house…I’ve decided that I’m not going to waste my time any more than I already have… “live each day as if it were your last, and be the change you want to see in the world” im going to live by that from now on…and I think that in the long run that will make me a better person…
After all…a hundred years from now…I want to be remembered…I want to have some sort of an impact on society, and do something that will help benefit others in years to come…Last night I had this conversation among some of my good friends and we talked about how each person has an impact on society whether they know it or not…I mean everyone could be a hero to anyone depending on their viewpoint…
Making my mark on the world is my goal in life…who knows if it will ever happen or not…but until then, I’m not going to take any more time for granted…because who is to say how much I have left…each minute is precious, and I’m not going to waste another one staring at this computer screen playing solitaire…
And on that note… im out

-Always-
Lauren Beth

Stuffs....

2005-03-03T02:43:23Z

To those of you that are taking your time to read this wonderful piece of bullshit….

….I praise you….

Tonight I got a rant all ready for ya, mainly because tonight flat out sucks…but lets start from the beginning…

So basically the whole things started on Thursday night…because of a few select ppl…actually not really because of them, but there are multiple dramas that are currently going on as a result of that night…So it was snowing.. I had some friends over to hang out…pretty fun…started out glen, krystal, brad, blair, jill, Jaime, becca, Lauren, and steve…Good crowd right? Yeah it was fun…sorta..so we were all hanging out..watched OC, had a whipped cream fight…teased my dog a lil bit…lil sexual activity going on…nah not really (and btw, if YOU are reading this…u know who you are, and FUCK YOU) so yeah then the snow got really bad so everyone except for steve and glen slept over…we watched movies, ate dinner at like 2…went to sleep at like 5, and by 8 the next morning, everyone was up and ready to go…so why you ask is this such a bad thing?? …..
DRAMA!! I swear, you would think that people at our maturity levels and in our grade would be able to handle minor situations, but no, everything is blown up out of proportion, and everyone does nothing but bitch at eachother… whatever, im not dealing with it anymore..if you wanna be a bitch then fuck you…I don’t wanna deal with it (not directed to anyone in particular, just a general statement)
Next order of business..just wanted to shout out to everyone how much I hate my fuckin family…omg deal with it that im messy…. Deal with the food that I eat…..deal with the clothes I wear…im me…why should anyone else have any sort of authority over me….HE-LLO, ever heard of a little something called the first fuckin amendment , and freedom of expression?>??!!! whatever im just gonna keep it to myself because if I was to really rant about it we could be here for weeks….
Any whom…..
So onto what seems like some sort of a dating T-V show these days…ah Indian hills, what a fine place to meet and fuck the potential love of your life…seriously guys…can we not function without a member of the opposite sex joined at the hip? CHICKS BEFORE DICKS PPL!!! Whatever there are only a few who violate that so lets not get into it…
Now, to completely contradict what was previously stated…I NEED A DATE TO JR. PROM…so far all of my friends will have dates…so any takers? Seriously im not THAT bad lol…(wow, so sad) but yeah…someone ::cough j cough:: told me that I HAD to go…and I don’t think I wanna go to that alone…so…yeah… lol (jen just kidding with that im really not mad, besides this way I can set up some sort of dating service on my livejournal…SCORE!)
But do any of the single ppl realize that tho?? I mean In the past couple of months, suddenly everyone has a significant other…that’s crap! Lol nah that’s just me being bitter…but whatever…ill deal…Im out for now tho guys I got sum serious roeser work to tend to…

-Always…
-Lauren

delman113 @ 2005-03-01T18:32:00

2005-03-02T00:46:52Z

okay so i found some surveys and random stuff that i thought was funny...because i dont feel like bitching...but dont worry i will be doing that later.... lol

101 THINGS NOT TO SAY DURING SEX

But everybody looks funny naked!

You woke me up for that?

Did I mention the video camera?

Do you smell something burning?

(In a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...

Try breathing through your nose.

A little rug burn never hurt anyone!

Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?

Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

But whipped cream makes me break out.

Person 1: This is your first time... right?

Person 2: Yeah... today.

(In the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the hour!

Can you please pass me the remote control?

Do you accept Visa?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

And to think - I was really trying to pick up your friend!

So much for mouth-to-mouth.

(Using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?

Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

(Holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!

Do you get any premium movie channels?

Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!

(Preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!

Got any penicillin?

But I just brushed my teeth...

Smile, you're on Candid Camera!

I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

I want a baby!

So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

(In a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?

Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...

Did you know the ceiling needs painting?

I think you have it on backwards.

When is this supposed to feel good?

Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!

You're good enough to do this for a living!

Is that blood on the headboard?

Did I remember to take my pill?

Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?

I wish we got the Playboy channel...

That leak better be from the waterbed!

I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!

But my cat always sleeps on that pillow.

Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?

If you quit smoking you might have more endurance.

No, really... I do this part better myself!

It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!

This would be more fun with a few more people.

You're almost as good as my ex!

Do you know the definition of statutory rape?

Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?

You look younger than you feel.

Perhaps you're just out of practice.

You sweat more than a galloping stallion!

They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.

Now I know why he/she dumped you...

Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?

You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.

What tampon?

Have you ever considered liposuction?

And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!

What are you planning to make for breakfast?

I have a confession...

I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!

Are those real or am I just behind the times?

Were you by any chance repressed as a child?

Is that a hanging sculpture?

You'll still vote for me, won't you?

Did I mention my transsexual operation?

I really hate women who actually think sex means something!

Did you come yet, dear?

I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...

A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!

Does this count as a date?

Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!

Hic! I need another beer for this please.

I think biting is romantic - don't you?

Q: You can cook, too right?

A: (Whaddaya think I'm doin'?)

When would you like to meet my parents?

Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like...

Woman: Yourself?

Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?

Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.

Don't mind me... I always file my nails in bed.

(In a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?

I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?

Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.

Sorry, but I don't do toes!

You could at least act like you're enjoying it!

Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said no!

Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...

I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer".

So that's why they call you MR. Flash!

My old girlfriend used to do it a lot longer!

Is this a sin too?

I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!

Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?

Long kisses clog my sinuses...

Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...

How long do you plan to be "almost there"?

You mean you're not my blind date?

Okay so now some surveys because i feel like actually putting my input in:

FULL NAME: Lauren Beth Delman
AGE: 17
BIRTHDAY: 1-13-88
PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY: how many?umm 4
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH THEM: eh...depends if there is a full moon or not...nah just kdding...nah not really
SCHOOL: Indian Hills High
PRIVATE/PUBLIC/WHATEVER: Public
GRADE: 11

BEST GIRL FRIENDS: Brenda Jill Becca Jen Jaim Laur jaxx...too many
BEST GUY FRIENDS: Brad Rob Blair Billy
WHY ARE YOU SUCH GOOD FRIENDS, AND HOW DID YOU GET TO BE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS: idk...they understand me
COULD YOU TELL THEM ANYTHING: umm duh
WHY/NOT: because they make light of things yet at the same time take me seriously
DO YOU TRUST THEM: with everything...
OUT OF ALL YOUR FRIENDS, WHO IS THE:
SHORTEST: dina
TALLEST: brad
FUNNYEST: glen
SWEETEST: jill
TRUSTED: bren
TRUSTING: brad
ADVISER: brad
ADVISEE: jill
MOST PERFECT: idk i guess jill
MOST INSECURE: i dont wanna say..but its a him
SMARTEST: jill
DUMBEST/BLONDEST: r to the oid (dont ask
HORNYEST: me and bren i would have to say
HONEST: bren

OUT OF ALL YOUR FRIENDS, WHO HAS THE:
COOLEST CAR: glen
BEST HOUSE: idk they're all cool
SHORTEST TEMPER: either me or brenda
MOST TALENT: jacqui
WEIRDEST TASTE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: umm lets not go there
ODDEST SENSE OF HUMOR: its bren and delmz at it again
DIRTYEST MIND: BRENDA
MOST UNUSUAL IDEAS: probably me
CRUSH/BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: how does that question pertain to this topic??
IS THERE A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF THEM: ummm lol lets not mention that one either
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR EX BF/GF: of course hes the best

FAVORITE:
COLOR: green (color or horny)
SONG: Always be lady marmalade
BAND/SINGER: matchbox 20, alicia keys, black eyed peas (i like everything)
TEDDY BEAR: the one i sleep with of course
ACTOR: Shane West
ACTRESS: Mandy Moore
FOOD: CPK
NON-ALCHOHOLIC BEVERAGE: Dt. Coke
ALCHOHOLIC BEVERAGE: lol not beer becca..although amstel light is pretty good
MOVIE: a walk to remember
TV SHOW: friends
TEACHER: ROESER!
SUBJECT: ENGLISH!!
DAY OF THE WEEK: friday/saturday

HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL: half full im optimistic
PRINGLES OR BAG OF CHIPS: pringles
SAME OR OPPOSITE SEX FRIENDS: opposite...girls are bitchy...you know how i roll
LOVE OR LIKE: tough call
SICK OR DEPRESSED: neither

WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX: smile
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? can u walk by again?
MAJOR TURN-OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX: hairy armpits...idk they are just gross...!!

okay this is a weird quiz...but yeah lets take it...

[my name is]: wow tough one...if u dont know u shouldnt be reading this

[in the morning i am]: rushing...cranky..u name it

[love is]: hard to explain

[i dream about]: well not so much about...but its a chance to escape reality

-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-

[what do you notice first?]: smile

[last person u slow danced with]: omg i think it was either billy or scott

-W H O-

[do you have a crush on?]: for me to know and him to find out

[easiest to talk to]: brad bren or jill

-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-

[fallen for your best friend]: lets not pry at that one...

-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-

[you talked to on the phone]: my sister

[hugged]: blair

[you instant messaged]: jen

[you laughed with]: brenda

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-

[could you live without the computer?]: no

[what's your favorite food?]: cpk

[whats ur favorite fruit?]: banana ::wink wink:: jk ummm orange

[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: emotional

[trust others way too easily?]: yeah

-N U M B E R-

[of times i have had my heart broken? ]: 1

[of hearts i have broken?] : i hope none

[of boys i have kissed?] : omg like 12

[of girls i have kissed?] : 2

[of drugs taken illegally?] : none

[of tight friends?] : like 5

[of cd's that i own?] : 60 something

[of scars on my body?] : like 12

[of things in my past that i regret?] : quite a few actually...

-O.T.H.E.R.T.H.I.N.G.S.-

[i know]: that this survey has some ridiculous questions

[i want]: a car

[i have]: my license

[i wish]: i did better in school

[i hate]: ummm conceited ppl...and roeser

[i miss]: being able to enjoy my afternoons...and being able to finger paint in school

[i fear]: death

[i hear]: matchbox 20 in the background

[i search]: for answers...??? idk

[i love]: YOU!

[i ache]: when its that time of the month?? sorry guys lol

[i care]: about brenda (according to her)

[i always]: leave the toilet seat down... nah jk...forget to close the garage door

[i dance]: everywhere i go

[i cry]: at most things

[i do not always]: make the best decisions

[i write]: in this journal

[i confuse]: even myself

[i can usually be found]: sleeping or at my desk

[i need]: a vacation (already)

[have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing]: actually yeah

[if so, when and with who]: strip poker...but lets not talk about who itwas

[favorite place to be kissed?]: the shower

[have you ever been caught "doing something"]: lol hasnt everyone??

[wuss]: yeah

[druggie]: no

[gang member]: yeah thats me

[daydreamer]: of course

[alcoholic]: to an extent...but not normally

[freak]: in bed maybe

[brat]: are u crazy?

[sarcastic]: never!!

[goody-goody]: thats me

[angel]: yeah okay...

[devil]: hmmm :: halo glows::

[friend]: to all

[shy]: when hell freezes over

[talkative]: lol duh

[adventurous]: sometimes

[intelligent]: i hope so

-Concerning.The.Friends.(You.Claim.To.Have)-

[impacted you the most spiritually]: ummm billy

[wish you saw more often]: jaime

[wish you could meet]: shane west

[most sarcastic]: glen

[wish you knew better]: a few ppl

[knows you best]: brenda

[best outlook on life]: billy

[most paranoid]: jill

[sweetest]: jill

-Self-Analysis.You.Probably.Don't.Want.To.Do-

[your best feature (personality)]: usually in a good moood

[your biggest flaw (personality)]: judgemental

[most annoying thing you do]: probably play devils advocate

[biggest mistake you've made this far]: cant say that one here..but if u really wanna know u can just ask

[describe your personality in one word]: bubbly

[the physical feature for which you are most often complimented]: eyes/smile

[person you regret sleeping with]: he knows

[height]: lol ::grins sheepishly:: 5'3"

[a smell that makes you smile]: burberry brit

[a city you'd like to visit]: sydney

[a drink you order most often]: diet coke

[a delicious dessert]: jello! nah tirimisu

[a book you highly recommend]: a walk to remember

[the music you prefer while alone]: whatever im in the mood for

[your favorite band]: black eyed peas

[a film you could watch over and over]: a walk to remember

[a TV show you watch regularly]: friends

[you live in a(n)]: refridgerator box

[your transportation]: acura tl or acura legend

[your cologne or perfume]: burberry brit, lucky, shine, or curve

[under your bed or in your closet you hide]: thats for me to know...and u not to

hmmm one more survey..im in the mood...(sounds dirty)

1) Have you ever lied to your parents?

who hasnt?

2) Have you ever lied to a preacher/pastor/rabbi/etc???

actually yeah (what was i supposed to say? im not a virgin!?)

3) Have you ever cheated on a test?

once again who hasnt?

4) Have you ever secretly loved someone for a year or more and never told them?

yes

5) Have you ever spied on someone and caught them talking about you?

oh yeah

6) Have you ever two-timed your boyfriend or girlfriend (or spouse)?

never

7) Have you ever cried to get out of a speeding ticket?

lol yeah

8) Have you ever though about marrying the person you were dating but would never tell them because they would think you are insane?

yeah

9) Have you ever talked about someone while they were listening, the whole time acting like you were talking about somebody else, just to see their reaction?

lol actually yeah just recently

10) Have you ever had any kind of OTHER relationship with a family member of the opposite sex?

omg no...i dont live in alabama...

11) Have you ever swore in church?

lol yeah

12) Have you ever wanted to be an animal?

yeah actually i want to be able to sleep all day long...im strangely jealous of my dog...

13) Have you ever tried to commit suicide?

no

14) Have you ever made another human being bleed on purpose?

lol well there was this one time in gym class...

15) Have you ever kissed an object that doesn't move?

yes and i blow my cucumbers...NO!

16) Have you ever had sex in a public place?
depends what u would consider public...

17) Have you ever accidentally been seen naked by someone you liked?

yes

okay im out for the night...ill try to update tmrw...
ALways
-LBD

Hmmm....

2005-02-15T00:46:33Z

Don’t you just love it when life throws you curveballs? I mean when one of those things happens that just makes u sit back and just think… “wow, that did not just happen”….just had one of those moments guys…oh well screwed up again…

::adds mark to tally sheet in journal::…

Not really anything bitchy or inspirational tonight…

All the love in the world to those who are there… despite the screw-ups…

-Lauren Beth

Saturday night...

2005-02-13T16:17:50Z

Okay, so first, here is the ranting and raving…

Okay, so I decided last night that I was gonna be nice to a friend because I knew that the person that she wanted to hang out with was going to be busy all night, so I invited her to come hang out with me and sum ppl. Well, first of all, I don’t fuckin appreciate being lied to…. Second of all, I don’t like being ignored, and third of all, im sick of your bitchiness…im sick of being second to ur b/f, and u know what? Im not gonna stand for it anymore…a certain friend was right when she said that u had changed for the worst. U want ur bf that bad that u are willing to sacrifice ur friends? Go ahead, ur halfway there….

Okay, found a random survey…dunno why I felt like taking it, but here goes…
FIRSTS:
1. First best friend: Jaime
2. First love: couldn’t say…
3. First real kiss: hmmm spin the bottle…glen
4. First screen name: lbd113
5. First pet: Guinea Pig, Oody
6. First car: It will be my dad’s old legend

LASTS:
1. Last cigarette: never
2. Last kiss: ummm xmas break
3. Last good cry: last night
4. Last beverage drank: water
5. Last food consumed: ummm chinese
6. Last crush: ::wink::
7. Last phone call: Rob maybe?

RELATIONSHIPS:
1. Who is your best friend: BM, JB, LP, JJ, BH, RP, BB, JW (i didnt forget u, my comp was being screwyyyyyyyy)!! xoxo…dunno bunch of ppl
2. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: near future hopefully

FASHION STUFF:
1. Where are your favorite places to shop: Kohls
2. Favorite item of clothing: would have to say any black tshirts and denim jacket

SPECIFICS:
1. Do you do drugs: nope
2. What kind of shampoo do you use: pantene
3. What are you most scared of: death
4. What would you change about yourself: lets not go there…

FAVORITES:
1. Colors: green (bren, color of horny lol)
2. Foods: pizza
3. Subject in school: English and Art
4. Animals: Dogs
5. Sports: Tennis
6. Movie: Walk to Remember (I know I know, such a sap, but shane is so hot)
7. Bands: hmm haven’t thought about that one...black eyed peas comes to mind…

HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Given anyone a bath: yeah
2. Smoked: never
3. Made yourself throw-up: cant say that I have
4. Skinny dipped: ummm yea
5. Been in love: Thought I was…

CURRENT:
1. Clothes: Pajamas
2. Music: Nobody’s home
3. Make-up: not really
4. IMs: steve

LAST PERSON:
2. Hugged: Jill
3. IMed: Steve
4. Last person who slept at your house: Jess
5. Last persons house you slept at: Brenda’s

RANDOM:
1. In the morning I am: usually rushing
2. Love is: All you need…(thanks J)
3. I dream about: Everything

PAST/FUTURE:
1. 7 years ago: Getting braces
2. 4 years ago: Doing horribly in school
3. 3 years ago: Boston trip
4. 1 hour ago: Lol probably just getting home from last night
5. Tomorrow: Monday….grrrr
6. College: TCNJ or Delaware! ::crosses fingers::

Out for now...

-Lauren

Random bits of stuffs....

2005-02-03T00:53:02Z

::sigh::

Okay this one is gonna be a mixer….by that I mean I got days worth of crap to write about and some of which I’m aiming to be insightful and positive and then the usual bullshit that we’re always complaining about….

First of all…Hugs, Kisses, and Thank You’s to all of the ppl who threw me the best party ever…I had NO idea…u guys are awesome!!! And I love you all (::tear::!!) lol XOXO rSd, jb, bm, bh, vg, ae, km, jw, lp, aw, kp, and of course dd…good time guys…u rock…

Okay and then the follow up to that night…okay so basically recently I’ve sorta been…well to be blunt…a bitch…not sure what came over me just being catty towards people that I love and would never do anything to hurt…(u know who u are and u know I love you!) One of my best friends made a comment that I wasn’t all that happy with, and that lead me to get a little annoyed…until I realized that I could never stay mad @ her because she means waaaaaaaay too much to me…so that little misunderstanding is out of the way…(and now we all can move on to other problems and dilemmas that we are currently facing…)And a thank you to another certain someone who helped me to realize that I can fix my mistakes, and those I can’t, I can simply put behind me….
It was so weird…I went out on Saturday night not expecting it to be anything out of the ordinary…then of course it was…then afterwards…when I got home and I lay down in my bed…idk what came over me but I lay there and I cried…I cried for all of the mistakes ive made in the past few months, for all of the stress that I am going through in school and involving friends…and guys…and basically just to let go of everything…seemed like a bad night to do it considering I just spent the previous four or so hours having a great time and laughing with my friends…
Btw don’t mean to sound all whiney and emo in that paragraph but im just sorta paintin a picture so that those of you that don’t really care or spend the time to ask understand whats going on are well informed as to why im saying all of these things…I mean its actually healthy to just be alone to think about life and what ur next step is gonna be…
Then I wondered why it was that everyone masked all of their emotions instead of leaning on their friends for support, especially when they need them. Isnt that what ur friends are there for? To help support you and guide you when u have nowhere else to turn? I always feel better when im crying onto someones shoulder, rather than my pillow at night…I mean your friends are the ones who realize that you aren’t perfect, and that life doesn’t always go as smoothly as you may have planned, and they accept that. They acknowledge that, and they are the ones standing there with the tissue box when u feel like there is nothing left for you to count on…I realized that on Saturday night that without my friends some of the things that im dealing with right now would be unbearable and I don’t know how I would ever make it through this year (don’t take that as any sort of sign of depression or anything…im fine : ) ) So thanks guys…
Moving on…okay so Becca and I were driving home from the mall the other day and she suggested that we all take a week off this summer and rent a house down the shore just to sorta chill out before next year and pretty much just have a good time….However, what started off as a great idea and a relaxing vacation is rapidly turning into a reason for people to bitch at each other for no reason…seriously guys what are we? 12? I mean its really not worth getting pissed off at each other for… The whole thing is such a load of crap too…ppl are fighting to no reason whatsoever…okay this goes out to the lunch table…u all know what im talking about…cant u feel the tension everyday!? I mean its ridiculous…just because someone doesn’t directly ask for your opinion doesn’t mean that they aren’t interested in hearing about it…and that is what spurred this stupid fight…So enough about that before I get myself in trouble…
Okay focusing on the positives…OMFG THIS SUMMER IS GONNA BE THE SH*T!!! I cannot wait guys…I mean beach everyday…ridiculously hot temps! clubs at night… omg cant wait!!
Okay so I think that we should have a sign hanging from the inside of the door stating the following:
1. Separate guys and girls bathrooms (don’t wanna know what u guys do in there and im sure vice versa)
2. No alcoholic beverages of any kind (well at least not for the first night ; ) lol )
3. If anyone wakes anyone else up before 10: 00, expect certain death…
4. And of course the obvious rule… “I don’t wanna…touch it, feel it, smell it, taste it, or see it…and you all know what im talking about…
NO SEX IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!! Lol
Okay yeah but besides that stuff we’re good lol (we will def discuss this further when we all get the “ok’s” from the parental units but until then lets keep our fingers crossed)
Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays…Not to cut it short but im not in the mood to write anymore…ill talk to everyone later…feel free to leave comments…

Always
-Lauren Beth

delman113 @ 2004-11-20T22:40:00

2004-11-21T03:41:06Z

Hey guys…

So updating because jen said so…so here goes…

**I actually attempted to update it like last week but my temperamental computer decided to freeze, therefore deleting my entire entry…so gonna have to start over again***

First: I was thinking a lot today about friendships and how your girls are always your girls…no matter what…quoting a great friend “you don’t go to high school to meet your groom, you go to meet your bridesmaids.” Didn’t realize until just recently how true it actually was… went through some “tough issues” that I would not have been able to handle if it weren’t for my girls…so thanks u guys I love you, and im always here for you….

(had to add that little thing, and for those of you that think im just being dramatic, you can shove it up your ass before u criticize….)

Another thing that I realized…. you know the way that people don’t really get the true feeling of something until it “hits home” well it did…. Sometimes a big change in life can really make you look at things really differently, and your priorities go to hell….not talking about any event in particular, but a series of things that have severely changed the way that I look at things... I mean my morals are like nonexistent….not anyones fault but my own….gonna have to change that…

***btw all of these ideas are really scattered but that’s cuz I don’t wanna forget…so ill come back and add more later but right now im just sorta touching on each topic***

I was looking through a yearbook that I found from like sixth or seventh grade the other day and I was noticing all of the pictures and the groups of people that were in the pictures together….my best friend back then, probably doesn’t even remember my name, yet four or five years ago we were completely inseparable…f*ck cliques, they are an unnecessary hassle that we shouldn’t have to deal with anymore…seriously what are we, frosh??

Ummm yeah so that’s pretty much as far as I wanna go into tonight…gonna go….lol booty call time….nah not really….but im out….

-Always
Delmz

Do you ever feel like breakin down
Do you ever feel out of place
Like somehow you just dont belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screamin

No you dont know what its like
When nothin feels alright
No you dont know what its like
To be like me

To be hurt to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when your down
To feel like youve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breakin down
And no ones there to save you
No you dont know what its like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be sombody else
Are you sick of feeling so left out
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate
Are you sick of everyone around
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside your bleedin

No you dont know what its like
When nothein feels alright
No you dont know what its like
To be like me

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think im happy
But im not gunna be ok
Everbody always get you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You dont know what its like, what its like

Halloween

2004-10-30T16:20:05Z

Sorry its been a while (i know i have a habit of writing a lot and then like stopping for forever and 1/2)but whatever....

KATHERINE IS SOOOO COOL....SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND EVER!!! KAT IS THE SHIT BECAUSE SHE MADE ME A SHITLOAD OF CDS!!!!

Sorry shes sitting right next to me lol...anyways....

so whats new....well as ive prob already bitched about...lost my last match to northern highlands...5-7, 6-3, 6-2 So we were really close but lost it in the last couple of sets. Of course by that point everyone on both teams as well as all of the parents were watching us cuz we were taking sooo goddamn long... actually gotta finish later...im out...

-LBD

priorities and life

2004-10-19T02:03:41Z

Okay...so its been a while...whatever...been busy

Now we get to go down memory lane a lil bit...cuz i feel like it...

So, the other night i was reading a journal that i had written between 7th and 8th grade...and i noticed a pattern that was occuring as i turned the pages..every other sentence was something like "wow, my life is perfect" or "omg things could not get any better"..i mean my whole world revolved around my friends, and my boyfriend, and just living life and having a good time everyday...
Then, i actually started crying...i realized how naive and blind i was to everything going on around me...i was living my dream life, i had a great bf who i was crazy about...i had the most amazing friends i could have ever asked for, things were good at home...i mean everything seemed so perfect and my perfect little world seemed sturdy and unbreakable.
The reason for my tears, was the fact that my life could do a complete 180 without me even taking the time to notice...i mean of course i still have those perfect friends who i would be lost without, and still have my friday nights that i look forward to all week cuz it means that i can just relax and laugh...but everything else around me changed...
lets start with the guy situation...im a pushover...i know it, i see a hot guy and i melt...my judgment is gone, and before i know it, i've done something that i cant take back no matter what i do...somewhere down the line my priorities got screwed up and now i've turned into the type of person that i never wanted to be...sure guys like a girl whose flirty and loves to talk about sex, and dont even get me started on cleavage...but that never used to be me...i mean i was the person who asked what a blowjob was in the seventh grade...(dont laugh, im serious) i had my first real kiss in 8th grade....and most of the other stuff was during 10th and some this year....ill be the first to admit that i was extremely naive...
Anyway, there was a point to this ramble lol...i was getting dressed the other morning for school, and i was putting my make-up on, and i was dressing in a cute top and nice jeans...then after i got my heal stuck in my doorway (weird wooden thing on the bottom)and after i cursed off those goddamn shoes, i realized, why am i getting all dressed up...the people who truly care about me dont give a shit if im in a shirt that says "slut" or a pair of sweats... i mean im still the same person right?
I was actually recently inspired...i was talking to a friend of mine and her boyfriend...and as we were talking, she bursts out and tells me and him that she has a wart on the bottom of her foot...Now i know what ur thinking...gross right? well yea...that was my reaction too... i was thinking "ew, how could she possibly mention something like that in front of her boyfriend, i mean thats just gross!" Then it dawned on me...he didnt care about that imperfection that she had...he cared about her...who gives a damn if she has something that other ppl think is gross? he still loves her...(and when she reads this i want her to know that i love her too!!)
I also remember a similar experience i had last year...i wore sweats to school and none of the guys that i was liking lol (yes there were mulitiple) said much to me...the next day, after i straightened my hair and put on make up, suddenly they were up to talking...i mean wtf...WHY ARE WE SO MATERIALISTIC AND SHALLOW!!!...its really sad how obsessed we are with the opposite sex nowadays...screw them...yeah guys im talking to u...
However,that comment does not go out to all guys... i mean there are those few who can always make u smile no matter what mood ur in...and the ones who will sit there and listen to u cry...and swear they are listening to every sob and every word and the tv isnt on (even tho that isnt always true lol)And according to Brenda and myself, we would make horrible lesbians because girls are so bitchy and catty, that sometimes we just cant stand them...but i couldnt live without my boys who i can bitch to..so thanks...
School officially sucks.. it used to be fun and study halls and lunch periods were times to socialize and talk about upcoming tests and gossip about other things...but now... its the best feeling in the world when u can just sit, put ur head down on ur backpack and just breathe... i dont think i would make it thru the year w/o a study hall....
The college of new jersey has been a place that i have wanted to go to since i was about 9 years old...yeah yeah yeah my family was bothering me about colleges then too... i used to get straight A's, so that school was not at all out of reach...
However, recently, grades have been slipping, and suddenly B's have been considered acceptable and A's are phenominal....When did my standards change?? Maybe it was when i was spending all of my time on the phone, and obsessing over my latest crush...Now, as we approach those college years...i think im going to have to change my way of thinking, and living, and work my ass off to achieve that one goal and reach those high standards that i set for myself not so long ago...
So back to my journal...I was just pointing out that even though we stepped out of the eighth grade mentality, we still can have fun...but our lives should not revolve around one thing...a person is made of so many different things, its impossible to focus on just one factor...life is life and that means all of it, whether it be family, friends, guys, school, work, sports...whatever....
This all got me thinking tho, about the other side of things…I mean, what happened to our childhood? What happened to running around the yard and under the sprinkler in just a bathing suit? What happened to picking up worms and playing with ants on the sidewalk? What happened to running through puddles and playing in snow? When did it all become such a responsibility? When did eating too much candy start to bring about more problems then rotting our teeth? What happened to the days of playing with Play Dough and making Easy Bake Oven cakes? I want my perfect world back -- the world in which after school snacks consisted of cookies and milk and there was no such thing as calories. The world where everyone seemed so big and I felt so little, but powerful, all at the same time. When did parties turn from places to eat Happy Meals and play with friends into places to get drunk? When did cooties become obsolete, and STDs become more of a problem?
Where did nap time and snack time and show and tell go? Why do I have to sit through algebra instead of learning my numbers all over again? Since when is coloring not a subject in school?
This all happened so fast and everyone grew up around me, but I'm still a child at heart. I always will be, and in a way that scares me, but in many other ways, it's comforting. I don't want to grow up. Crayons and markers will always be so much cooler than black and blue pens. Sex and the City can never beat Nick at Nite. Temporary Care Bear tattoos can never be beat by real ones, no matter what they are.
E-mail and instant messenger will never be able to replace play dates and tag in the park. Why does race play any role in anything in life? When did drugs become anything more than Dimetapp and Benadryl? What happened to the pink bubblegum medicine?
I've decided I want to stay five forever. I've also realized I can't, and I think that's a major part of growing up. Learning when you can lay back into that 5 year old mentality, and when it's time to snap out of it.
So im changing.... i still plan on living my life and having fun...u know, not sweating the small stuff...but my main focal point will not be guys and dicks...its gonna be everything..school, the people i care about...tennis, art...everything...and its sad that it took this long for me to realize this...

Always,
-Lauren

Friday night...

2004-10-09T19:40:23Z

So friday night was good...got together with Brenda, Vanessa, Gale, Timmy, Max, Glen, Steve, Lynch, Kogge, and Chris...some minor conflicts, but it seemed to work out well...went to Friendly's and bowled...crossing the four-lane highway was adventerous (and no i did not almost get hit by a car lol Ness!!) Bowled a 69 in the first game and like a 48 in the second game...drove around a lil, went home, fell asleep at like 2, then got up at 8 30 to go babysit @ the temple...

...Now im workin on the roeser hw, that woman honestly must have no life because she spends it grading papers!!

...going to the game tonight...meet me there if u want...

GO BRAVES!!!

-L

^ not that u guys really care about what im doing but i couldnt think of anything to write lol....

WTG GIRLS

2004-10-07T02:11:25Z

Beat Pascack hills again!! (5-0) WTG NICOLE!! u played awesome despite my sucky forehands today (couldn't hit to save my life!!)But seriously great match girls, and hopefully we will beat po on monday!! GL!
Studied with Kat and Heidi tonight in the sr. commons, didnt really accomplish much except for catching eachother up on the gossip and chit chat....creepy janitor started listening so we eventually just left, however the soccer practice was over so there wasnt really much for us to do...walked around, ordered pizza...u know, girl stuff...finished the hw, all set to fail two tests tmrw...fun fun...thats pretty much it for my day... ummmm anyone wanna hang out on friday, possible dinner-n-movie deal.... dunno whose interested, call if u want...

*note to BarTy, got a table at the craft fair, any items we wanna sell to get donations would be greatly greatly appreciated...call me or email me (ldelman13@optonline.net) or lbd113@aol.com, Food prob wont be the best idea considering they will already be selling that stuff...ummm i guess im out for the night, gonna go finish my crossword puzzle and go to bed (such a dork i know)
So night all-

~LBD

***OMG, HE ALMOST KILLED CHRISTIAN, AAAAAAAAAAAH I NEED THE NEW SEASON TO START!!!!!!!!!!

^and no, i am NOT obsessed lol....hugz-n-kissez....

17th

2004-10-06T01:42:12Z

Okay, so my 17th birthday is comin up in January, and when i was asked what i wanted for it, instead of choosing the obvious choice (I WANT A CAR!!) i decided that i wanted a laptop/desktop to put in my room where i could finish all of my roeser work and talk online without interruptions, and in private...i mean i know its a stretch, especially because its so pricey, but, c'mon half the kids my age already have tvs, computers, complete stereo systems, and DVD players in their room...so i really didnt think it was an over the top gift, especially if i pay for half, and thats all i get...Well thanks to the little bitch that lives down the hall from me, its no longer a possibility...Put it this way IM OLDER!!! and in the words of my parents "if we were to get another comp, u two would argue over who would get the new one" WTF!! its my birthday gift!! My idea!!! SOrry im not a self-centered spoiled snob who wont carry a purse unless its loius vuitton or coach like some people i know!! ::cough bitch cough:: and im not materialistic (not even sure if thats a freakin word!!) like she is!! i mean the only things on her list are purses and jewelry (AND ALL OF IT HAS TO BE A BRAND NAME, OTHERWISE SHE WONT F*CKIN USE IT!!!!!!!) Im sick of it
And while im ranting and raving i might as well address something a friend of mine just brought up... Do i look like a "rich bitch" to u???...newsflash, IM NOT A F*CKIN RICH BITCH, AND I THINK ITS PRETTY DICK OF SOME PPL TO JUDGE ME BASED ON THAT MATERIAL BULLSHIT!! I dont think ive ever had more than $30 collectively in my whole life!! so where the hell did u get that idea from, stupid bitch....and u know who u are....

Okay, enough complaining, im done....

so now for a tennis update:

PASCACK HILLS: W
PASCACK VALLE: W
RAMSEY: W
NORTHERN HIGHLANDS: L
MAHWAH: W
DEMAREST: L
FAIRLWAN: W
WAYNE HILLS: W

6-2 wtg girls!!

GOOD LUCK TMRW AGAINST PASCACK HILLS AGAIN!!!

Off to watch the debates!!

-Moi

BTW: just a note to my friends who wrote me messages: (first of all thanks, its somethinf fun to read)
Second:
I love all of u and thanks for bein there for me when i need u, trust me it means a lot!! XoXo!

delman113 @ 2004-10-04T17:35:00

2004-10-04T22:54:57Z

To sum up this "glorious" Monday with one word: BULLSHIT!!!

Sucky morning to begin with, forgot to study english, got all gross in gym, have another project thingie due in roeser, didnt finish my art project, have a history test tmrw, failed my bio quiz, didnt finish my hw in study hall, got a C- on my math test, and have a project due for spanish...so basially something bad in every subject...and u wanna know what im gonna do about it??? NOTHING!! im gonna laugh and not study a thing for tmrw, nor do my hw because the day has been so unbelievably rotten that i think i just might skip it all tmrw!!
::whew, that was a lot::
Then after school our fourth tennis match in a row was cancelled, because the coach of the other team had a meeting that would make her miss the bus...(HELLO, there are OTHER teachers u can send instead!!!) There was no announcement, because they didnt want to tell us until the end of the day for fear that we just wouldnt show up for practice, which is another example of the bullshit i was talking about....
Playin first doubles with Nicole tmrw!! (GL HILLZ, BEAT WAYNE!!)
And a good luck to the boys jv and V soccer players!!
Now u get the family vent as well...

OMFG!!!! i have more to do with my time then to f*ckin print out anymore of those f*ckin invites for my mother's surprise party...i love her and all and i wanna do this for her but my asshole of a father wont f*ckin lay off with the whole stupid thing...SCREW YOU! i have more to do with my time.....and u know what, the reason i havent "done shit" is because u are pissing me off soooooo goddamn much that i am doing it to f*ckin spite u, u asshole!! (obviously not directed towards any of u guys....)

Calm, and focusing...whew that felt good...wanted to go to the boiz soccer but couldnt due to the fact that i havent done shit in the way of my hw....However, that means i get to look forward to pilates tonight!! and NIP TUCK tmrw!! season finale, channel 40, @ 10:00 commercial free!!!!

Not much more to say, but im sure there will be later....for now, im out...

<3- Delman

**Btw, thanks Tedi, ur the bestest!! ilu!

Six Flags

2004-10-03T02:52:03Z

Went to Six Flags today, with Jill, Heidi, Alyssa, Katie, Stevie, Kristen,John, MacKenzie, and Mr. and Mrs. Brendlen, to celebrate Jill's Sweet Sixteen!! Got an early start...Summin up the day...Went on Superman, Batman, Swings (lol, never too old!!)Skull Mountain, Dont really remember what else, but it was really fun...waited on a bunch of lines, etc...Fright fest was going on, so creepy men were chasing us with chainsaws (Heidi, ILU!) yeah kinda hard makin conversation with them...Waited on some more lines, kept getting interrupted by the stupid batman ride...ummm not much else to say, pics from the rides were funny, especially the ones from nitro...Heidi and i discussed politics in the carride home and put everyone to sleep....also tried to think of a sr. prank for next year (any suggestions, lemme know!) Went home, cleaned,got screamed @ by the parents for some stupid shit, called a few friends to help me out...thanks west for droppin me off...Now @ Jen's, away from the madhouse...gonna watch some movies and crash for the night...

Sweet Dreams...

-D

West's Party

2004-10-03T02:32:17Z

SURPRISE WEST!!

SO tonight was pretty interesting, but let me start from the beginning....
We have been planning this party for about a week, and made a slight boo boo when it came to timing, and wound up having to be the one to set up for the party...(And Krys, dont take this as me bitching, i really didnt mind doing it!! ne thing 4 u!) In the end everything worked out okay tho, everyone got there okay (minus a few individuals) and West was of course surprised...Spent the night hanging out, talking, watching Kill Bill Vol. 2, and playing pool...(won 1 against Ryo and Brenda, Lost 1 to Ryo, and lost 5 to Lynch) so yeah, i suck....Went home later on that night after the party and fell asleep at 12:30, and didnt sleep from 1:00 on....

"That's all folks"....

Fun Surveys cuz im bored...

2004-10-01T02:26:34Z

Well im sick of watching Bush because hes a dumbass, so i decided to fill out a survey instead of watching the debates....

*:: The Basic Crap...::*
Full Name: Lauren Beth
Any Nicknames? Delmz, Delmie, Delman, Laur, D, Del, Pretty much anything
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
School: IHHS
Grade: 11
Height: 5'3 1/2''
Hair Length/Color: Lt. Brown , long
Eye Color: hazel
Hospital You Were Born At: Lenox Hill
Any Siblings? Who are they? Yep, got a sis….

*:: Favorites ::*
Color: Blue and...pink!
Fruit: Banana (nothing dirty was intended btw)
Veggie: Cucumber
Jello Flavor: Strawberry
Ice Cream Flavor: Pistachio
Drink: Umm…. Not sure
Bands: Carbondale, Black Eyed Peas,
Singers: Sean Paul
Month: July
Scent: Lucky You! And Clinique Happy
Holiday: don’t have one
Time of the day: 11: 59: 59
Candy: Twizzlers
Scary Movie: The Ring
TV Show: Nip/Tuck, Friends
TV Channel: fx, mtv, wb, abcfamily
Actress: Sarah Michelle Gellar
Actor: JULIAN MCMAHON! Shane West, Johnny Depp
Radio Station: Z100
Soda: Dt. Coke
Vacation Place: Vegas…AZ, wherever….
State: Anything on the west coast
Girl Names: Tedi (ilu girl!), Lindsay, Hallie, lotsa names, cant think of any right now tho
Boy Names: Justin, Kyle, Chris, Brad
Store: Mandee, Charlotte Russe, KOHLS
Mall: Garden State
Room in your house: mine!
Car: BMW Z4
Anima l: dog and horse
Number: 69

*:: Which One... ::*
Burger King or McDonalds: McDonalds
Skaters or Goths: Skaters
Pink or Purple: Pink
Silver or Gold: Silver
Pen or Pencil: Pen
Pants or Shorts: Pants
Pool or Hot Tub: Pool
Sweet or Sour: Sweet
Salt or Pepper: Salt
Contacts or Glasses: Contacts
Day or Night: Night
Shower or Bath: both
Shopping Online or at the mall: Mall
Radio or CD: radio
Rain or Snow: Snow
Winter or Summer: Summer
Books or Magazines: Magazines

*:: Random Questions... ::*
Who do you hang with? (Preps, Geeks, Goths, Skaters, etc...) um...my friends
Do you own any stuffed animals? Who doesn’t?
What color do you look best in? black and earth tones
What are your pet peeves? Answering all of these questions…oh yeah, and bitchy ppl
What do you think of boybands? They ain’t all bad….

*:: In The Last 24 hours, have you... ::*
< BR>Yelled at someone? yes
Got yelled at? Omg yeah
Broke something? no
Tripped & fell? yes
Shopped online? no
Cried? Yes
Listened to music? yes
Swam? yes
Talked on the phone? yes
Been in jail? Ummm well….
Eaten? yep
Witnessed a crime? can't say i have
Watched a movie? yes ….
Traveled anywhere? Tennis courts

*:: Other Random Questions ::*
Do you like having your picture taken? sometimes
Do you ever do crossword puzzles? yea
Do you put posters up in your room? Yeah
How many CDs do you own? Like 10 lol
Do you read your horoscope? Don’t believe in it, although its usually correct!
How many times a year are you sick? not many
Ever been on an airplane? yea
Have you ever said lol in real life without thinking about it? Umm…yeah
How big are the windows in your house? um...big? i dunno, normal size i guess
Do you wear necklaces, bracelets, anklets, earrings, rings? All of the above
How long does it take you to get ready to go out? depends on where im going...usually like an hr or more...
Have you ever gotten lost? Where? yea, everywhere
What's in your fridge right now? um… food??
Are you a fast typer? yea
Ever seen a shooting star? Oh yeah
Are things as bad as they seem? Most of the time
What color is most of your clothes? Black or denim
Who do you miss? Camp ppl…
Ever looked directly into the sun? yes, bad idea
Do you own any plants? yea..their probably dead tho
If you could only talk to 5 of your friends for the rest of your life, who would they be? Omg don’t make me answer….i really cant….
Do you love your family? usually
Have you ever picked up the phone before it rang? yea
Do you do any chores? What? Yeah, im the dishwasher bitch…
What place can cheer you up no matter what? Friends’ house
Who can cheer you up no matter what? N E of my friends (with a few exceptions)

*:: Future... ::*
Do you plan on getting married? yea
To who? Ooh well, I would looooooove to be either mrs. Shane west, or mrs. Julian mcmahon, but for some reason I don’t see either happening
Do you w ant to have kids? yea
What do you want to be when your older? Art Teacher or psychologist
Where do you see 5 of your friends in 10 years, include details: Pretty much doing whatever it was that they said they wanted to do….
What kind of car do you want? BMW Z3
How many kids? 2
Where do you plan on going to college? TCNJ, Delaware, Marist, Lehigh, Rutgers
Where do you plan on living? Maybe new york, or possibly Arizona (I know, total opposites lol)
How old do you think you'll live to be? Old enough

*:: Even More Random Q's... ::*
If you died tomorrow, who would you leave everything you own to? Jen and Laur, and all of my friends I guess….(actually whoever was brave enough to enter into my room would be the one who gets first dibs)
If you won the lottery, what would you do with your...lets say 36 million dollars? Buy a laptop for my room, a car, and some other little things and then donate like 10 mil.
Do you believe in Heaven? definately
What is your worst fear? seeing Michael Jackson in the nude (direct quote from jen!!)
Have you ever owned a Chia Pet? If so, how many? Wow, really embarrassed to admit….
What is the one thing you couldn't live without, and why? "money...is it wrong that i chose material things instead of love, hope and all that crap" – direct quote from me… nah but seriously, I think it would be friends n famz
Where do you want to have your wedding? under the sea (::singing...wish i cud be..part of that worrrrrrrrrld::) Really tho, on the beach
Have you ever been in love? If yes, with who? Only time will tell…
What movie can you watch over and over, and never get bored? A Walk to Remember
Don't survey's rule? Omg they are soooooooooo obnoxious!

Well im out, g'night all....

Sweet Dreams...

-Yours truly

Bad Day...

2004-09-30T22:29:46Z

Hey Guys...

Well its my first journal entry, warning tho... had a really bad day...

It started off as a good day however, it got much much worse... got most of my vocab done in homeroom, then went to gym and played tennis for 40 mins. Day got sucky when i realized that i still had a project to do for Roeser (due tmrw) and timed writing tmrw as well...so Cass, Krystal, Allison, and I snuck into the art "library" during third period and worked on our projects... Slept through the next three classes, went to lunch, waited on the lunch line for 30 mins, ate in about 2.5 seconds,(meanwhile leaving my agenda in the cafeteria, thanks to all my friends btw who cared enough to answer me when i asked if anyone had seen it, and yes that was sarcasm...) and ran to math...to be pleasantly surprised that my test was postponed...Of course, then i entered the gates of hell (a.k.a. DiGiovine's class) sat through that for 40 mins. Rained so the match against Ramapo was cancelled...Bummer but eh', ill live...
Slightly back-tracking...last night i realized that there was some anonymous call that was made from my phone that lasted for 174 minutes during a tuesday, therefore being air time...to make the long story short: got home, told family, got screamed at, went to bed...
So today i went into Verizon, and told them about my "situation", they sorta fixed it, but told me to call customer service, so half hour later, i got home, called, and the call is currently being erased from my phone!! ::victory dance::
Doing the Roeser hw, (and i have come to the conclusion that the woman has WAY too much time on her hands to grade all of those freakin' papers...)Btw, Glen, ur right, we should all just switch out....WOrkin on the project forever (still not done, im in the process of procrastinating)
Just got off the phone with jen (btw feel better!) now im busy doing this with my family screaming at me to get off the comp.... (i have been begging for a laptop, keepin the fingers crossed that this b-day it will happen!)
This is a message for Joe, Steve, and whoever else thinks ma sis is hot....
SHE IS A GRADE A B*TCH!!! im serious, why in the world would u want her???!!! cough ho cough....arg, sorry lettin off some steam...
Gonna get back to the work, but fillin out a survey later...
G'night all

Yours Truly
Moi